As the saying goes, “a problem shared is a problem halved”. This can be very true and being able to talk to someone can make us feel so much better. However, it does depend on us having someone suitable to talk to. Sometimes we can feel so desperate to talk that we blurt everything out and then regret it, or we hold back because we are anxious about the response we might get and then the problem just grows and grows and takes over our mind.
It can be very helpful to think about who is the best person for you to talk to. You might ask yourself:
- Do you feel really comfortable with the person, do you trust them not to judge you and to have some understanding of what you say?
- Will they really listen to you or will they launch into a discussion of their own problems that doesn’t help you, and you may even end up helping them?
- Will they be able to keep what you’ve said to themselves?
Sadly some of us are lonely and don’t have someone to talk to, or we may feel that our friends or family are too close to us, or are involved with the situation we are worried or upset about. Alternatively perhaps we are too embarrassed to tell them something particularly difficult about ourselves, and we’re scared for them to really know who we are. In these situations a counsellor can really help.
Trained counsellors are experienced in helping people to talk about difficult things, including things you might be ashamed about or find it difficult to talk to other people about. A registered counsellor will also have ongoing training and work to recognised standards of confidentiality, ethics and professionalism. They also have their own confidential support so you needn’t worry that what you need to say might be too much for them. Many of us see our work as a vocation, so you can rest assured that big or small, what you are saying really matters to us and we will see you as an individual rather than a set of problems to solve. Please choose carefully because we are all different and it’s important that you find the best fit for you. Many counsellors will offer you a free 15 minutes to help you see if they are likely to be able to offer you what you need, and to check that you are going to feel as comfortable as possible talking to them - once you get over initial nerves of course.
If you are struggling with life at the moment, I do hope you can find someone to talk to. It can really help.