Counselling services
Elizabeth Downing Counsellor
listened to
first step towards awareness
humans ability
I work online for your comfort, safety and convenience
Please contact me for a free 15 minute chat

Enabling you to find yourself and be more comfortable in your own skin

Counselling for low self-esteem, relationships and times of change

We may not be fully aware of it, but as we move through different phases of life, we often find that our relationships with ourselves and with others become unsettled or even go into turmoil. The changes in our lives may cause feelings we usually hide to rise up to the surface, or a new challenge throws a spanner into the works. We find ourselves unsure about who we are, who we want to be, and we question how we are relating to other people.

You may have recently graduated from university, changed job, experienced a relationship loss or bereavement, be moving into midlife, be trying to make sense of your relationships with your parents as they age, or perhaps something unexpected has happened, hasn’t gone to plan. Where life may have once seemed to been once ticking along quite nicely, maybe you were even full of hope and expectation, now all that has changed. Not only may you be finding the change or loss hard to bear, but you may also be feeling confused about your role or purpose in life and who you are. Nothing seems to make sense anymore.

Perhaps you’ve just realised, or have known for a long time, that you don’t like yourself much, or there is something you don’t want other people to know about you. It might be that you see yourself as a bit different, and you have to work really hard to fit in, but somehow you still feel that you don’t really belong and you end up feeling on the edge of relationships.

Maybe your confidence is suffering because you feel that you have to be how other people want you to be, so much so that you’ve actually lost touch with who you are, as if your wants, needs and hopes don’t really matter. You may be feeling unhappy or lonely because people don’t really know you. You may even feel that you’re letting yourself down by not being your real self, however deep inside you that sense of self may be buried.

You may have become aware that no one knows how bad or upset you’re feeling about yourself or about things that have happened to you, or things or people that you’ve lost, because you’re so good at being positive and strong, even successful, from the outside. This means that no one knows that you need support and you feel very much on your own with what you’re going through.

If any of this resonates with you, you may be feeling lost, and exhausted by the sheer effort of trying to hold it together, fearing rejection if people see a different you, a you that doesn’t fit with their expectations or is in some way unacceptable.

When we don’t like ourselves, or have lost our sense of who we are, it can really affect on our ability to live fulfilling lives and can prevent us from making choices that are good for us, or we may be realising that the choices we made in the past no longer feel right.

Perhaps you’d like some help to get in touch with who you are now, to explore your role, purpose in life and your relationships past or present. Perhaps you’re curious about whether you could start to like yourself a bit more and it feels like the time in your life to consider whether you’d like to share more or less of yourself with others.

Counselling can help you to gain some clarity, to reflect on who you are and to make sense of what has happened to you. You don’t have to struggle on your own.

‘Our true nature is like a precious jewel: although it may be temporarily buried in mud, it remains completely brilliant and unaffected. We simply have to uncover it.’

Pema Chodron